The Feminine Mistake

I just finished reading a really interesting book - The Feminine Mistake by Leslie Bennetts. Basically the premise of this book is that women should not quit working when they have kids because of the financial repercussions in the future. When I first heard about this book I wasn't even going to read it because I figured it's another in the string of books either anti-working moms or anti-stay-at-home moms. But, as a feminist I decided I did need to read it to know what's going on with this current debate.

So, I read it and it was a great book! I was very impressed by how thorough Bennetts is - she covers everything from what happens to stay-at-home moms when or if their husband (and only means of income) leave or die unexpectedly to the benefits of working moms - both for themselves financially and emotionally as well as for the kids and the family as a whole.

I don't have kids and I'm not sure about whether I want to or not, but I just don't see myself not working at all. It's important to me and my husband that someone is home for the first few years before school, but unlike most men he is more than willing to be that person. One of my favorite lines from the book is when the author is talking about how a lot of her friends just think her husband is so great because he helps out with household duties such as grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc. which shouldn't be seen as "helping" but as a normal part of his life as a husband and father. She says, “The sainted Jeremy may look like Husband of the Year in comparison with a lot of other guys, but that just goes to show how low we set the bar for men in this society.” (p. 247) I have way too many friends who's husbands don't do anything around the house - kids or not - and that is not the kind of marriage I want to have.

One of the best points from this book is that society only tells women that their children will suffer if they work full-time outside of the home. Why isn't anyone telling men that? Don't kids need BOTH parents involved in their care and upbringing? I love that this book points out the myths about parenting and that women are supposed to do everything. We've made too much progress as women to go back to 1950. Thanks Leslie Bennetts for doing such a great job of pointing that out!